once long ago .................. by cyclopseven

once long ago beyond the threshold of my teenage years
torture and agony were my accompanying companies;
through the days and nights of unnumbered days
my thoughts rambled fiercely across valleys of sorrow
a fight, a solitary struggle to escape from the cocoon that suffocates ensued.
no where to turn to and no ways offered free stride
as no lamp post stood along the way as preceptors
from whose light, rays might have guided me right
alas! my struggle was a solitary fight
I was a lonely soldier fighting a solitary battle
whipping the enemies of continuous rebellious thoughts.

I stood then witnessing this drama as a play of karma
the law of cause and effect tremendously powerful
perfidiously potent than countless nuclear heads
honestly sincere than the divine blessings
in it sprouted this body of mine with pain without shine.
my opposition against the potent karma took me far
far from man and divine I took a stroll towards atheism
yes….divinity is a concept framed by man for man
non existence, a mere superstition
that was then - my argumentative stance.

conviction hold me devotedly strong that god is but a dream
against all beliefs as an antagonist I was gaining firm footing
fighting theism with atheism, the fire burnt wild within
go to hell with god and devas, saints and messengers
I tried hard to brush the veil of pious devotion in many
into pious aversion to theism.
as the stroll goes deeper and deeper a voice once asked me from within
“What different you think you can make my child?”
“If by any mean, you wipe another man’s faith and give him bread,
it won’t do any good to him my child”
“For you disrespect his belief in the presence of yours”
“How can another be happy knowing their very breath of beliefs and faith
being trampled by an antagonist like you?”
“You hurt them more in your selfishness?”
“If God is truly absent from the creation
why you try hard to convince others that He doesn’t exist?”

“Fools carp without commonsense
denying the eyes the vision
denying the ears the sound
denying the tongue the taste
denying the nose the smell
denying the skin the touch”
in denial
I lived with acceptance
karma….cause and effect
is the secret of this perpetual play
the drama called life
today
I believe
polarity is the essence
of life’s expansions.